Yarn frustration

Create os recreate or what??
Sometimes things don't seem to go according a plan. According my plan. It is easy to throw it out, recreate, cut into small peaces... but it is a crochet.
And this piece just  that doesn't want to be altered, upcycled or recreated... but I love the material so much, that I don't have a nerve to trash it.

So what's gonna be now?
Frustrating...

I have to go back to basics. I have to follow my yarn back to the beginning... :-(

Dear reader, would you help me? At the top of my frustration I don't find the proper expression in the dictionary: What is the word for  when you want to ruin the crochet? (Not atomic level... I want to keep the yarn for a future project,  he-he-he)